Inconvenience
by AttyAriAki
Summary: This is what my Friend Josh would say to Jace, Simon, and Clary. Set in City of Ashes: right before they go to the Seelie Court. Rated T for language. ***Warning*** DO NOT READ if you are a huge Simon fan! Also rating will go up after 3rd chapter!
1. Chapter 1

**OKay, me and my friend Josh were up till like 4AM just talking one night. And because it was like 4 in the morning we were laughing at every little thing one another said, or did. We even laughed at stuff on the walls, or on the floors. We began to talk about things and laugh about them, well soon we tumbled onto a conversation about the Mortal Instruments books, and Josh decided to rant on about Jace, Clary and Simon. He was making me laugh so hard. I mean we were up till 4AM and weren't making much sense, so I don't know if this came out as funny as I remembered, but Ah who cares. So I decided to write down what he said and share it. I personally think this is funny. But who cares, I just want to see everyone else's reaction to this**

**SO the whole idea is my best friend Josh's, I hardly have ANY credit for this. The only thing I did was add a little bit of a story to it, just to have it make more sense. So I made it like Josh was a new character in The City Of Ashes. lets see what you think.**

*****Warning: DO NOT READ if you are a big Simon fan*** You have been warned.**

Inconvenience

For weeks now, Josh has been stuck with this group of teenagers, having to listen to every complaint. arguments and constant yelling. He was very close to getting a migraine, at least he thought so as he rubbed his temples while sitting quietly between Simon, Clary and Jace.

_The group stared at one another. Before anyone could think of a single thing to say, a sharp noise cut through the room, making Clary start. Hot coffee spilled onto her wrist and she gasped at the sudden pain._

"_It's my Mother," said Alec, checking his phone. "I'll be right back." He went over to the window head down, voice too low to overhear._

The shrieking noise from Alec's phone, along with Clary's outburst squeal made a jolt of pain shoot through Josh's skull. He squeezed his eyes shut as a response, keeping his fingers slowly massaging his temple. No body seemed to notice his distress, or maybe they just didn't care.

Seriously, _he_ could care less himself. He wished beyond anything that he wasn't here, or anywhere _near_ here. That werewolf just _had_ to chose him to attack, and couldn't just finish him off? No, instead he left him injured and now he carried the curse. Great. It would've been fine if he were turned into a werewolf like maybe… in sixth grade at least by now he'd be over the transformation stages and he could control it.

No.

He had to lie to all his instructors at NYU, tell them he would be leaving the city in a emergency. The real reason was because he needed to be secluded while dealing with the transformations of being a _werewolf_.

Missing classes when you're in college is a whole heap of bullshit! Whether you're sick with the flu, or get hit by a car, or even if you get kidnapped by Hannibal Lectur and he makes you join him for supper, you _still_ have to make up work! And most of the time you're up 24/7 for a month trying to catch that shit up! Sometimes College sucked! Especially when you get bitten by a werewolf!

"_Let me see," said Simon, taking Clary's hand. There was an angry red blotch on her wrist where the hot liquid had scalded her.  
"It's okay," she said. "No big deal."  
Simon lifted her hand and kissed the injury. "All better now."_

"Pul-lease," said Josh. "I asked my mother to kiss my boo-boos better….. when I was _five!_" Another words, Josh was saying it was both unnatural he being her boyfriend, and the fact that they were both too old to know that kisses on the boo-boos did not make the boo-boos go away! He knew Simon was only showing off for Jace. OR he was one of those _weird_ boyfriends. You know, the ones that sounds a little obsessed, a little stalkerish? They always do things that make you… extremely uncomfortable? Yea… he could be one of those. He heard Jace smirk from beside him, but made no point to look up at anyone. But judging by the startled expression and noise from Clary…. Yea… Simon was definitely one of those _creepy_ boyfriends

"_You're a Shadowhunter," Jace said. "You know how to deal with injuries." He slid his stele across the table toward her.  
"Use it."  
"No," Clary said, and pushed the stele back across the table.  
Jace slammed his hand down on the stele. "Clary-"  
"She said she doesn't want it," said Simon. "Ha-ha."  
"Ha-ha?" Jace looked incredulous. "That's your comeback?"_

Josh was sitting quietly in between Clary and Jace; he had his hand up and over his eyes frustrated with the ridiculous nipping at one another.

"Oh shut the fuck up, you guys are acting like fucking over grown children!" He nearly shouted at them. All of them turned to look at him with glaring daggers from their eyes. "first off," he motioned towards Clary. "You're only resisting because _he_," Josh pointed to Simon and made a whiny tone "doesn't want you to. And you!" He spoke to Simon. "Was that really mature? C'mon grow the fuck up!"

They all stared at him with angry daggers shooting from their eyes. "What?" Josh widened his eyes, after removing his hand from his face. "Pissed off because I spoke the truth?"  
"Talk shit to _him_!" Simon pointed at Jace.  
"No!" Josh interrupted before Jace could respond. "I'll keep on telling the truth about all three of you!" He turned to face Jace. "Starting with you!" Jace's eyes widened in defense, but then sat back in his chair with a smug grin, almost like telling him to bring it on. Josh continued.

"First off, I know that no matter what I say it will only encourage you to be a smartass, but I guess I'll make the sacrifice… you know… just to get it off my chest, One; give her a break, dude. She's only trying to think rationally in this obviously… crappy situation. And the rational thing is to NOT date your brother! Two; why do you keep on trying to make him look like an ass?" Josh pointed at Simon. "First off, he already looks like an ass, the problem is he doesn't look like an ass to _her_! So the more you give him shit, the more _you_ look like an ass!" Simon grinned smugly giving Jace another "Hah!" Josh spun around in his chair and pointed a finger right in Simon's face.

"Hey! I'm saving you for last, Four-Eyes! Don't make me get started on you right now!"

Jace grinned smugly at that, he couldn't help it. Clary and Simon protested, but Josh ignored them. Josh then turned to Clary who looked like she was about to strangle him.

"And you." He smiled deviously. "You seriously need to look at this whole image from an outer view! You're only using him." He pointed at Simon. "And you are purposely torturing him!" He pointed at Jace. "Which is fucked up, that makes you a tease, and even though you're a virgin, a tease is just as much of a slut in my book, sorry hun!" Clary growled at him, but Josh laughed at her sudden immature outburst. "You stick up for this douche bag even when he's down right wrong!" He motioned at Simon. "You side with him because he's your friend and you're afraid of losing him. Okay." Josh put a hand up gesturing that he understood. "I'll by that, but here's the fucking _truth_! If he was a good friend, he wouldn't be pissed off that you couldn't love him back the way he wanted you to. Yea… he should be upset, maybe even a little broken hearted, but throwing a tantrum? That's fucking retarded. Love doesn't work that way, babe! You either love someone or you don't. You are either attracted to someone, or your not. Make up your damn mind."

Clary went to argue, but Josh quickly continued so she couldn't speak he knew that she would only ask something like, "Are you suggesting that I be with my brother?" No, that's not what Josh is saying, but he would definitely make it clear.

"Also, if _you_ were a good friend, you wouldn't use him. Maybe you don't realize that you are using him, but you definitely know you're not attracted to him." Josh said that last part with a grin. "You'd be a better friend for just telling him the Goddamned truth! Than stringing him along while he watches you check out this guy." He pointed a thumb at Jace. "You keep accusing Jace for being the Devil, _you_ my dear, are the devil, because you are playing them both!" Josh said that whole last sentence with a much more serious tone.

"Now you, my favorite." Josh said to Simon with a large grin upon his face. "You know why you're my favorite?" He asked him.  
"No why?" Simon's voice was hard.  
"Because you are the most pathetic out of the group, and that makes it all the more fun to insult you! One; you _know_ she's only using you, and yet you stay with her, why? Because this is the only way you can have her, and that my friend makes you desperate, and being desperate is not often a good thing! Also, you know what you sound like to people, like me?"

"What are people like you?" Simon snapped.

Josh let out a laugh that held no humor.  
"I'm way to old for this shit, which is sad, because I'm only 22. I'm in College paying my own tuition, bills, car payments, rent, insurance, internet, electric, gas, and most of all I work and go to school! So what I'm saying is people like _me_ don't have time to listen to your whiny ass bullshit, it's like someone is stabbing a syringe into my fucking ears!" Josh screamed out that last word. "All you do is bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch! Shut the fuck up! If this were a story the readers would stop reading just because of your fucking annoying ass character!" Josh proceeded to mimic a baby tone. "Waaahhh, my best friend since I was 2 isn't in love with me! Waaaahhhh she likes this hotter looking guy better than me. Waaaaahhhhh I'm just a Four-Eyed little band geek and nobody likes me!" Josh stopped his baby mimic. " And on top of that, you have to bitch _every little thing else_! Whether it be about the way the institute looks, or how the grass feels against your feet when you walk. Again… Shut… The… Fuck… Up! And just admit it, not 100% of this is because you are in love with her."

Simon, who was about ready to hit Josh across the face looked confused at his question. "What are you talking about, I love her, loved her since we were in kindergarten!"

"Ah see" Josh made a tick sound with his mouth and shook his head. "That's the illusion. You assume that just because you've been best friends since you were babies that you automatically fall in love later. Not always the case, bud!"

"Well then you tell me, Mr. Know-It-All. Why else would I fight for her?" Simon folded his arms and sat bolt straight in his chair, trying to look tough.

"Because you're sexually threatened." Josh said with a smirk.

That hit a nerve in Simon, but only a nerve that made him back off. Simon slumped back in his chair, obviously defeated. He looked down at his hands, obviously keeping his eyes focused on his fingers. He was avoiding eye contact with anyone, Clary, Jace, and Josh.

"Hey man, it's okay." Josh said. "All guys get sexually threatened at least once in their lives. You just need to take it like a man, no offense but… you pretty much take it like a pussy." Josh can see Jace trying extremely hard not to burst out in laughter. His ribs must've been in pain from the restraint. It seemed that only Josh picked up on it, he figured he wouldn't even bother to comment on it.

"It's not her fault, that she doesn't love you in that way. Forcing her to side with you on everything, by threatening your friendship is completely fucked up, dude! Sorry but you can't have everything."

Simon's eyes were still very focused on his twirling fingers in his lap. Clary watched him closely. Obviously feeling sorry for him. Josh cold only roll his eyes at her. She was at it again. "Hey!" He called for her attention. Her head snapped in his direction. "Don't be feeling sorry for him, just because he was told the truth! He obviously knows it's the truth, if not than why isn't he arguing?"  
"Because you embarrassed him!" Clary snapped.  
"Who gives a fuck!" Josh nearly shouted in frustration. "You guys _annoy_ me! But you don't see anybody rubbing my back, do you!" He searched her face for a protest. "Somebody should!" He continued "After spending a day with you three!" He slammed his fist against the table, making Clary jump in her seat. Josh stood up and marched his way out of the loft apartment. Leaving everyone in silence.

"What's going on?" Alec said walking back into a room of Magnus, and even Jace snickering.  
Magnus finally took enough breath to say. "These three just got served!"  
Jace finally let out the loud laughter that he'd been holding tightly in his ribs for what felt like forever. "Why are _you_ laughing, pretty boy?" said Magnus. "You were dissed too."  
Jace finally calmed down enough to speak. "So what! I'm just glad that for once someone noticed that it wasn't just me."  
"Besides, it doesn't matter what you say to Jace." Alec interrupted. "He takes pride on being an arrogant dick."  
Jace smiled widely. "Of course! And at least I admit it."  
"Yea and Josh knew that." Said Alec.  
"No shit." Jace was still laughing.

All the while Simon and Clary were still sitting dumbfounded in their chairs. "I can't believe you guys think that was funny!" She almost shouted. "He was downright rude and cruel." Simon continued to sit quietly in his chair. _I'm just going to be quiet from now on._ He though.  
"No." Magnus protested against Clary, still trying to calm his laughter. "I've been watching that poor boy, he's been stuck with you guys and nothing but your bickering for weeks now! I'm sure he's just finally up to here," he pointed a finger to his temple. "with all that you three carry on. Because believe me… I am ready to kill all of you too, and I am almost 600 years old, little girl. If a 22 year old can't take childish behavior, how do you expect anyone else to take it?"

Josh stood on the outside of the door laughing maniacally from hearing the fact that Clary was still in denial about their behavior. He had finally lost it, he couldn't stop laughing. More than anything he couldn't wait to be back at his apartment with his roommates and beer and be all done with this bull!

* * *

LIke or don't like. You be the judge!

Hey I may even continue more if anyone wants. I personally think its done here, but whatever. =p


	2. Chapter 2

Of course Josh couldn't go to the Seelie Court due to the fact that it was indeed a full moon. Not that Josh wanted to go. The gang had to take him back to the hideout where he could be isolated during his transformation. They got him there just in time as Josh could feel the pain in his spine and ribs as they contracted. Cracking and snapping in and out of place.

When morning came, Luke the pack leader; came into the basement where they isolated newly born werewolves. He had with him a blanket to cover Josh's naked body. "I'm sure you'll be wanting a shower." Luke said as he wrapped Josh in the blanket. "Don't worry," Luke carried on while helping Josh off the floor. "It wont be too much longer before you gain control. You're body must get use to the transformation. Once it does that you're home free."

"Yea, because my life will be so normal, after this." Josh made sure to look Luke straight in the eyes, letting him know he was being sarcastic. Luke sighed as he led Josh out of the basement and up the stairs.

"Once you gain control, your life can be almost normal."  
"Almost?" Josh held no enthusiasm in his voice.  
"Well, there will be times when you'll feel a change coming on, but you wont go completely, only if you want to."  
"Yea? And what about when I have kids? Will they be like this too?"  
"No." Luke said quickly. "It is very rare for a child to pick up on lycanthrope. It usually happens if both parents are werewolves."  
"Well, that's a relief." Josh said bluntly.

"Here." Luke handed him a bundle of his clothes. "I'll take you to my house so you can shower."  
"Oh Goody." Said Josh as he realized that he might have to deal with the breakfast club.

* * *

Josh stepped out of the shower and got fully dressed and left the bathroom to see Simon, Clary, and another girl in the living. The girl had dark wavy hair and dark skin. Probably the 'Head Case' of the breakfast club, he thought.

When Clary and Simon made eye contact with him, Clary glared, but Simon's head immediately darted the other way. Josh imagined he was still scarred from their last wonderful conversation. That's the thing though, isn't it? If you really want to send a person away screaming, you tell the truth about them. When the bravest of them all finds out they're actually a huge coward, they runaway screaming their lungs out. But Clary was in denial about her truth. Or she knew, but was still afraid to let Simon go.

"What are _you_ doing here?" She asked without any warm welcome in her tone.  
"Nice to see you too, Pippi." Josh replied. Clary glared at the nickname "And to answer your question, your dad brought me here for a shower. You tend to smell like dog when… you know… after you turn into one."  
"He's not my…" Clary trailed off she couldn't help but shrug. She was feeling a little bit of a bitch, after Isabelle told her off while on the way to the Seelie Court, and she didn't even know about Josh's rant. Was she really being like all the things he said? It was hard to decide. Simon is the only thing she has left from her old life, she didn't want to lose him for good.

"Whose he?" Maia asked.  
"Um… I'm right here. You can just ask me. Oh and correction… the proper way to say that is 'Who are you?'" Josh groaned  
Maia growled. Oh good another werewolf, aren't we the happy family. Josh thought

"So, I hear you're a vampire now?" said Josh ignoring Maia and sitting in a chair from behind him.  
It was the first time Simon looked at him since he walked in the room. All he did was nod in response and brought his eyes back to his hands in his lap.  
"Huh," said Josh. "It suits you."  
"And why is that?" Clary asked.  
"Well, most vampires are whiny little emo kids, whether old or young. They all bitch about something. So it suits him." Josh's tone was calm and submissive. Clary was appalled at him _still_ making comments.

"Why are you so rude?" She asked.  
"Why do you think you know everything?"  
"Why do _you_ think you know everything?" She countered back. Josh smiled.  
"Because it's like you have a book here, and I'm the reader… I see everything."  
"You sound just like Jace." She said scrunching up her nose.  
"Good, at least that means I sound intelligent." Josh grinned and picked up a coffee from the table and took a sip.

"To answer your first question," he placed the coffee back down on the table. "I'm a little bit on edge, you know. After getting bit by a werewolf when all my life they were suppose to be make-believe. Now I have to lie on the floor in a dirty old basement while I take _very_ painful transformations. Then lying to all my professors about why I wont be attending class for a while. Then having to deal with you children. On top of all of that; when I return to school do you know how much shit I'll have to make up… I am enrolled in 17 credits… I know I'm going bust a nut!" He sighed and took another sip of his coffee. "So maybe _that's_ why I am a little rude right now."

"That all sucks…" Simon whispered. Both Clary and Josh looked at him in surprise. But he never lifted his head to look at either of them. Josh went back to sipping his coffee when Simon said something else.  
"What are you in college for?" Josh looked at him curiously. Simon was finally looking at him. Looking more uncomfortable than he's ever seen him, but he was looking at him.

"Errrm." Josh stuttered, he was taken by surprise at Simon's sudden curiosity.  
"Management and Marketing."  
"What are you going to do with that?" Simon asked. Josh glanced at Clary who was looking at Simon with an odd look on her face. She was just as surprised as he was .  
"Well…" Josh started. "There's a lot of things I want to do with that, I just have to pick… which… I think I already did."  
"Which is?" Simon pushed him on.  
"I already manage a few local bands, and sometimes I market for them with my photography."  
"Wait a minute!" Clary interrupted. "You called him a band geek before!"  
"I know I did, thank you." Josh replied. "I only called him that because I wanted to insult him, because he was _pissing me off_!" He glared at Simon. "I, myself play guitar and sing. I'll even write some songs from time to time. Yes I am a proud band geek myself. I never said I had anything against band geeks, all I did was say he was a band geek."

"So…" Simon wanted to ask another question, actually a few, but he was being hesitant. "Management and Marketing… what classes do you have to take?"  
"Why are you so damn curious?"  
"Maybe I want to go to college." Simon snapped back.  
"You might want to chose night school." Josh had to refrain his laughter. Clary glared at him. Josh decided to answer Simon's question anyway.  
"I don't know, Math classes, business classes, some 2-D Design classes, Finance, economics… blah blah." He trailed off. "See why I am not looking forward to making this shit up?" He asked. The three of them nodded frantically in agreement.  
"What year are you in?" Simon asked.  
"Junior."

"So you're almost done, then?" said Maia.  
"Um… yea maybe- at least a year."  
"What does that mean?" Clary asked.  
"It means I may graduate in 2011, or I may not. Depends on the courses and the Major."

"Is it true that college is all about partying?" Maia asked, sounding thrilled. Josh laughed at her, he was only like that his freshman year.  
"Ummm, sure… if you want to fail." Maia frowned.  
"Are you serious? Than I've been fed lies."  
"Haha, no they're not exactly lies. My first year I lived in the dorms, and there were constant parties to go to. There's always a party to go to. But if you chose to go to all of them, and not get anything done… you fail. Not to mention your college courses will get tougher than your first year, which means more classes, and more homework…. And I mean dump trucks of homework!"  
"Well that sucks!" Maia pouted.  
"Yea no shit." Josh said.

* * *

Okay we're going to skip the part where Jace walks in with Alec and Magnus to cure Maia. They realize Luke has been gone too long; they go outside to look for him and get attacked by demons. Now they're inside with Luke unconscious on the couch. And Jace is torturing Alec about his relationship with Magnus. Here's where Josh comes in again

* * *

"Hey," Josh motioned to Jace. He looked at Josh, all emotion drained from his face.  
"What?" His voice was empty of meaning.  
"I don't mean to get all psychiatrist on you, but…. You're compulsive, correct?"  
"No!  
"Yes!" Almost nearly everyone shouted.  
"I know someone just like you." Josh continued.  
"Oh you do, huh?"  
"Yea… a good friend of mine… you remind me of her Uncle. There's a slight difference in your personality, but still quite similar. Ya see, he's a really nice guy… when he's not smoking crack."  
Magnus chuckled. Jace and Alec seemed to be confused.  
"Crack… what is crack?" Asked Alec. Josh laughed, he wasn't use to being around people like this.  
"That's a _great_ thing that you don't know what it is! Seriously, it's bad stuff… messes up your mind!" Josh said pointing to his head.  
"Than why does he smoke it?" asked Alec.  
"Because there's something in it, that makes you addicted to it." Maia interrupted.  
"Thanks." Josh motioned to her. "But anyways, he's just like you… very… conceited. But he can be cool, he's an over grown child at age 33, but he can be cool. He's very outgoing, makes people laugh, very popular with girls… and… well pretty much everyone… but he's OCD… real baaaad!"

"So," said Jace. "What does this have to do with me?"  
"Well, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is an anxiety disorder and is characterized by recurrent, unwanted thoughts- obsessions. Or repetitive behaviors- compulsions- such as handwashing, counting or cleaning are performed with the hope of preventing obsessive thoughts, but of course… it doesn't actually work."  
"Okay you gave us the definition what are you getting at?" Asked Magnus.  
"Well, I already told you that Anthony… the person I was talking about… was a drug user. There's something _wrong_ with him, and his personality is a way of hiding that fault. It's his own way of being _normal_! It helps him sleep at night. Serial Killers will do the same thing to fit in with society and hide their psychotic disorders. A lot of serial killers hide their issues quiet well, until they are up to their ears in dead bodies."  
"AND?" Magnus snapped again. Josh ignored his impatience.  
"And… Jace is the same way…"  
"What?" Jace nearly shouted, "Are you insinuating that I am a killer?"  
"No, no, no, no. I'm just saying that your overly confident behavior is just your way of hiding that you're actually not as nearly as confident as you act like in front of all your friends. It's your way of hiding the _real_ you, your way of hiding what's wrong with you!"  
"There's nothing wrong with me!" Jace snapped.  
"Oh… but there is… Obsessive Compulsive Disorder isn't often genetic. People will get it especially at a young age. Reasons are… guilt… shame. It usually does start with children in that aspect because they pick up on anxiety and guilt from their parents. Children tend to feel guilt for their natural needs at a early age, and it can be said that guilt and feeling over-responsible is endemic to an obsessive behavior." Josh paused, waiting for anyone to cut in with any kind of information, but nothing, he searched Jace's face and saw panic… yes panic.

"That's why Anthony was a great example. I told you he was a cool guy, everyone loved to be around him. He made people laugh, was conceited but in a way that people couldn't hate him… but he ended being a drug user, and on top of that he has OCD, why? When he was little he had to watch his mother beat the shit out of his older brother and sister, while she _never_ laid a finger on him…. guilt, and shame."

All was quiet in the room; Jace's face was as pale as a ghost. Josh then turned to Clary and her entire focus was Jace, even Simon's was too. Actually… everyone in the room was looking at Jace. It was no doubt that Josh had hit a nerve deeper than the soul itself; everyone was either curious, or looking at him with all the sympathy in the world. Alec looked more shocked than anything. Shocked that he didn't know his best friend like he _thought_ he did. Then suddenly a loud noise filled the room, making everyone jump out of their skin. It was Josh's cell phone.

"Oh no."  
"What?" Luke asked, sitting up from the couch. Josh didn't answer Luke, he touched the screen on the phone and answered.  
"Hi, mom…. Yea I'm fine… yea… don't worry…. Just feeling um… a little sick that's all…. Yea… no… no you don't have to do that!... mom no!... mom!" She hung up. Josh's heart started to race.

"What's wrong?" Luke asked again.  
"I have to go back to my apartment!" Josh jumped from his seat and grabbed anything that was his in a panic.  
"You can't! It's almost nightfall, we don't know if your transformations have ceased yet!"  
"It _is_ nightfall, Luke!" Clary told him.  
"You don't know my mom, okay!" Josh shoved his shoes on his feet. "She'll find her way in and never shut up about the fact that there's probably weed everywhere by now, and empty beer bottles, I have to go clean up before she gets there!" He started for the door.  
"Josh, it's not safe!" But Josh ignored him and rushed out the door.

* * *

I only did this, because of the whole OCD thing. Josh originally said that about Jace, and I accidentally forgot to put it in. It was different how Josh said it. He said it more funny like, and in a much angrier manner. lol. So this one I tweeked ALOT! The first one I seriously hardly did anything to it except toned down the insults on Simon, cause' trust me they were a whole hell lot worst. I told him I wasn't going to be posting some of what he said, cause' it was a little too harsh. And I added some story line to the last one to make it more entertaining I guess. This one I HAD to put it because of the whole OCD thing. I don't even care if nobody likes it, I just had to get it out. Thanks everyone who reviewed =)


	3. Chapter 3

Josh bolted into his apartment, relieved to see that neither his roommates nor his mom was there. Immediately he went for the kitchen pulling out a garbage bag and rushing around to pick up every little beer bottle he could find.

He knew that they wouldn't keep it clean. They never do unless he's around. The fun of having college roommates.

He felt heat cover his body, but ignored it, hoping that it was only from running around the apartment. Once he was done collecting all the trash, he started collecting the weed. Taking every baggy he found and putting them inside a little knick-knack. He felt the sweat bead off his head and nose, but he still ignored it. He put the little knick-knack full of weed aside, and grabbed a Febreeze bottle and started spraying the whole apartment. Suddenly the heat became too much and he let himself fall on the couch, just in time for his mother to enter.

"Aww, look at you." She said with her soft voice. For once Josh prayed she would go away. He didn't want to change right here, right now. He wasn't sure if he'd hurt her.  
"You look terrible!" She said as she approached him and extended her arm to touch his forehead. "Oh my God, you're covered in sweat, and you're burning up!"  
"Mom I'm fine." He choked, which of course made him much less convincing.  
"Like hell you are! Now you stay there I'll find something for you to take." She turned around to dig through her purse, and that's when it happened. The first rib decided to snap out of place with a large crack.

His mother spun around to look at him, Josh refrained himself from showing pain, but still gripped his rib cage. "What was that?" She asked.  
"What?" he choked,  
"That crack sound… it sounded like… a bone breaking."  
"It was nothing!" Another rib burst sideways, another crack. This time Josh couldn't resist grunting from the pain.  
"That's coming from you!" She pointed at him. "What going on?"  
Josh had no time to explain, he didn't have enough air. Instead he jumped to his feet sill holding his rib cage.  
"I-I-I have to go to the bathroom." He darted for the bathroom door; he shut and locked it tight. He fell to the floor wincing in pain.

_I'll fight it! I'll fight it!_

Bones were stretching beyond their limits, cracking and breaking. His muscles screamed for terror.  
"Joshua, let me in!" He heard his mother from the other side of the door.  
"No mom,"  
"Yes, Joshua!"  
Tears fell from his eyes, from both fear and pain.  
"I can't, mom!" he could feel his face stretching, creating a snout.

_Please, please just go away! _He mentally begged her.

"I don't care, Joshua, I'm coming in!"

_Please don't!_

He heard the door click; she must've picked the lock. He went to hold the door shut, but it all happened way too fast. The door flew opened, and his mother was getting ready to walk through when a sudden flashed washed across his eyes. When he came to, his mother was on the floor, and Magnus stood in the doorway. Before Josh could ask any questions Magnus touched his shoulder, and the pain of transformation immediately subsided. He felt his body return to its natural form, and soon he felt completely relaxed.

"I wont always be around to do that for you, so don't assume I am at your service." Magnus turned from the bathroom and Luke appeared in the doorway, bending down to lift him up.  
"What did you do to her?" Josh shouted after Magnus, as Luke dragged him down the hall towards the living room.  
"Relax, she's only in a deep sleep. She'll wake when the time is right, and won't remember a thing." He flipped his wrist towards Josh.

"Nice little place you've got here, it's really… cute." Magnus strutted around looking at all his things.  
"Nice TV." Simon pointed at the large screen TV, it had to be 50 inches.  
"Me and my roommates pitched in for it." Josh informed him

Just then the front door flew open, and came in some of Josh's roommates. A tall guy, stocky, with a baldhead. And a girl with light brown hair and a doll like face.  
"Josh!" The guy shouted. "You're back man!"  
"Joel… Katie…" Josh said uncomfortably.  
"Who are your friends?" Katie asked, and another light flashed the room, Joel and Katie were on the floor.

"Goddammit! You're like the Men In Black with that, you know… the flashy thing!" Josh shouted at Magnus.  
"You mean the neuralizer?" Said Simon.  
Josh looked at him incredulously, "Sure."  
_Nerd! _he thought.

* * *

OKay since everyone is begging me to continue this, I'll give it a try. I must warn yous that I am making this up as I go because I wasn't planning on making this more than a One-Shot, so I hope it doesn't get crappy. I was talking to my friend Josh and trying to get him to think of more insulting things to say to them. So he's working on it for me. I have more coming already, I just had to bring an end to everyone wanting to know what happens when Josh got home to see his mom. So I'll warn everyone that the next chapter will sort of change the rating a bit. I'm not going to actually manually change it, just warn everyone that the next chapter involves some drugs and some sexual content. Not a lot, just mostly discussions about sex. So I consider the next chapter on a light rated M. I have already gotten that chapter ready, so I want just a little reviews, and then I'll post it... deal?... not that it matters I'll probably give in and do it anyways... yea probably. lol. Okay maybe around later I'll update it, I have to make some annoying phone calls... yea bills, and maybe when I'm done with all of that I'll upload the next chapter. Thanks everyone, I really wasn't expecting this turn out. lol


	4. Chapter 4

*****WARNING*** This Chapter will contain some sexual content, as well as small hint of drug use, and still some harsh language. Again you have been WARNED!**

* * *

Previously...

_"Goddammit! You're like the Men In Black with that, you know… the flashy thing!" Josh shouted at Magnus.  
"You mean the neuralizer?" Said Simon.  
Josh looked at him incredulously, "Sure."  
Nerd, he thought. _

Josh bent down and grabbed Joel's shirt and started dragging him towards his room. He was heavy, and Josh wasn't exactly the biggest guy in the world. He was always considered the little guy in the group. Skinny, tiny, little Joshua. It was taking all his strength to drag Joel across the living room floor. He looked up from his position and stared at everyone.

"It's okay, I don't need any help breaking my back, I am perfectly capable of doing it myself."

Luke walked over and grabbed Joel's legs, while Josh lifted him from his shirt collar.

"Where are we taking him?" Luke asked.  
"His room, this way." They both shimmied towards the bedroom door and swung him on to the bed. Josh bent over, grabbing his knees, trying to breathe.  
"Now for Katie."  
"I'll grab her." Luke said. "Where to put her?"  
"Just in here, she's his girlfriend." Josh breathed. Luke left and returned with Katie in his arms. He gently put her next to Joel making sure she'd be comfortable.

"Now for your mother." Luke said.  
"Put her in her car, and I'll drive her back home. " Josh said as he started for the bathroom to get her. He and Luke both carried her to her red SUV Saturn outside the complex. They laid her down in the back seat and Josh climbed into the driver's seat.

"You sure, you'll be alright?" Luke asked.  
"Yea!" Josh practically hushed him.  
"We'll wait here for you."  
"What if my roommate and his girlfriend wake up?" He asked.  
"They wont as long as Magnus keeps his spell on them." Josh just nodded and started the engine.  
"The longest I'll be is an hour." Without another word he backed out of the parking space and drove off.

Luke went back up to the apartment to see Simon, Alec and Clary digging through his stuff. Simon was messing with the Wii, while Clary was searching through the movies, and Alec standing over by a shelf looking through it. Jace just sat on the couch with his arms crossed, and his legs crossed at their ankles.

"What the hell are you guys doing!" Luke shouted at them all. "Do you have no respect at all!" Simon dropped the Wii controller, Alec sat next to Jace, and Clary started to quickly put the DVDs away. Once she was done she made her way over to the couch and sat next to Jace- Jace got a sudden urge to be childish and force her to sit somewhere else, but held it in- The second Clary's body collided with the couch the TV suddenly came on, making Clary yelp in surprise.

"You're sitting on the remote." Jace grumbled.

"_The Jonas Brothers will be right out girls." The cartoon Manager on the TV said._

"_Why do you think they called us back here?" asked Tammy._

"_They must want to have sex with us." Said a fat little girl._

"What is this?" Alec asked with disgust in his voice.  
"South Park." Said Magnus. "I personally find this show a little too vulgar for my taste. Which is quite rare for me!" He said.

"_What?" said Tammy. "You think so?"_

"_Sure they're a band, they called us back here so we can give them Blow Jobs." Said The fat little girl again._

"_Well, I'm not doing it!" Said a little girl with pigtails. "Just because they're rock stars doesn't mean I'll do THAT!"_

"They are NOT, rock stars!" Simon groaned!

"_Yea I'm not giving a blow job to anybody!" said a little girl with the letters J and B on her forhead._

"_Me neither!" said Tammy_

_The Jonas Brothers came in from another room, the animation on them was actually quite accurate. "Hey there girls" all three of them said at once._

_And all together every single girl popped their mouths open ready for their blow jobs._

"Mom would never let me watch this." Said Clary. "Now I know why."  
"This is nothing, Clary." Said Simon. "I've seen worse episodes!"

"_Hey listen, we saw you out there in the audience." Said Joe Jonas, while doing some ridiculous poses_

"_Yea, you were getting a little crazy out there." Said Kevin doing the same thing as Joe._

"_Let's just get to the blow jobs!" said the fat little girl._

"_Blow what?" Joe asked Nick._

"_I don't know." Nick shrugged. "Look, we called you back here, because we want to share our love of Christ with you."_

"_And see if you'll wear purity rings from now on." Said Kevin._

"_We ALL wear purity rings. It means that we're going to be pure and not have sex until we're married." Said Joe._

Jace's laughter started to fill the room. "Are they serious?"

"_And it means that we stay away from bad stuff, like people who swear or watch naughty TV shows." Said Nick._

"Hence, this one." Said Simon.

"_That's just how we roll!" said Kevin._

"_Yea!" shouted Nick._

"_Yea!" said Kevin, and they both jumped up for a high five._

_Kenny McKormick showed up in the background looking in through a window._

"_So what do ya say girls? Do you wanna be Kid Hipsters like us and wear purity rings too?" Asked Joe._

"_Okaaayyy." All the girls said at once, like they were in a daze._

"_And be sure to give purity rings to all the kids you care about!" said Nick while they still posed in ridiculous positions. "Because it's the hip new way to roll!"_

Simon laughed, "They are seriously ripping on these guys."

Just then the front door opened and Josh came in through the door. When he noticed that the TV was on he was very close to popping a nut lose, but once he saw what was on the TV he started laughing.

The next scene the boys were waiting in their usual place at the bus stop. And strolling up came Kenny, the character with the hood over his head, and muffled out voice. It wasn't easy to understand what he was saying.

"_Well, well, well. Here he comes, it's BJ McKay and his best friend Bear." _Said Eric Cartman the fat one.

"_So how'd it go last night?" _Asked Stan, the boy with the red poof ball hat_._ Kenny sighed sadly and slowly took off his little brown glove, revealing a purity ring.

"_What's that?"_ asked Kyle, the boy with the green hat, or as Cartman would've liked to have called him… the Jew. At this point Kenny started talking, but they couldn't understand him of course, then Josh's voice rang over them speaking for Kenny.

"A purity ring." Josh spoke for Kenny.

"_A purity ring?"_ said Cartman.

"Yes, a purity ring."

"_Well, what does that mean?" asked Kyle._

"It means that I'm going to be pure and not have sex til I'm married." Josh continue to speak for Kenny. Everyone in the room stared at Josh now, turning their heads back and forth from the TV to him.

"_Dude, you!"_ said Stan. _"We thought you really wanted to have a BJ before you got too old?"_

"I did! I was really excited to have a BJ! But now I have to wear this motherfucking purity ring!"

"_Alright, alright Kenny calm down!" said Kyle. "You're too young to be getting BJ's anyway! It's good you and Tammy are making a commitment to each other that isn't based on sex!" _

"Yea!" Josh still spoke for Kenny who folded his arms in a pout. The boys were quiet for a moment, before Kenny broke that silence with his crying.

"It isn't FAIR I was so close to getting a blow job and I'll never get one now - this is fucking bullshit…"

Everyone in the room stared at Josh, with a slight amount of awkwardness in the air.  
"What?" he asked in defense. "I love South Park!"

"You understand what Kenny is saying?" asked Simon.  
"Sometimes it's not that hard to hear, sometimes it's clear as a whistle."  
"Uh-huh." Hummed Jace.

Josh started pondering as he looked around his apartment.  
"So... what do we do with my friends?"  
"Don't worry, I told you." Said Magnus. "When the time is right they'll wake up, and not have a single clue of what went on here."  
"What was the point of doing it to them?" Josh asked. "I mean, my mother - yea! Learning your son's a werewolf by seeing him transform isn't exactly how I want to tell her! But my friends walked in on nothing!"  
"It's precautionary." said Jace, still sitting in the same position on the couch, trying his hardest not to look at Clary.  
"Precautionary?" Josh questioned. "They're going to find out eventually! Hello they'er my roommates, my lycanthrope isn't going to continue unnoticed!"  
"For now, Josh." Luke said softly. Josh growled and turned away frustrated.

"What is it with mundanes?" Asked Alec skimming through a Harry Potter book. "And magic? They truly don't get it! Do they?"

Josh spun around and sped walked over to Alec, snatching the book from his hand.  
"One; it's a fucking BOOK! A FICTIONAL BOOK! Another words... make believe... not real... only for entertainment! And two; Harry Potter is BOSS! And three; stop fucking touching my stuff!" And he slammed the book back in its rightful place on the shelf.  
Alec glared at him then moved away to find a spot on the wall to lean on.

And another thing." Josh continued. "What is your problem with mundanes? Because we're _plane?_ Is it because we seem _weak_ to you? OKay let me give you a list of badass _mundanes_!" Josh walked over and stood in front of the TV, lowering it's volume.  
"John Lennon! A genius, a man about peace, which is less I can say for _your kind_! Martin Luthar King, same thing. He stood up against a society, helped the rest of the country break free from it! Made things better for all races for decades to come! Jimmy Hendrix, best electric guitarist... need I say more? Matt Stone and Tray Parker!" Josh stepped away form the TV and pointed to it. "The creators of South Park... again... need I say more? How about Hugh Hefner? Yea... that old bastard gets more pussy than _you,_ pretty boy!" Josh pointed at Jace. "How about Tony Hawk? That motherfucker has broken so many bones because of what he does, but he keeps on fucking doing it! How about Steven Spielberg? He brought us one of the best movies of all time... Shindler's List... Yea I fucking cried... I'm not afraid to admit it. That was one fucked up movie, and it spoke the truth and touched the hearts of millions!" Josh took a breath. Now he was heading down a bigger road.

"While we're on the subject of Jews, holocaust, and World War II, here's another great person... Hitler! May not have been a good person, but he sure knew how to change an entire nations mind about Jews. One man... caused all that hate! And Oscar Schindler? He saved over 1100 Jews during that war. He risked EVERYTHING he had to save those people, and in the end broke down crying because he thought he could've gotten more. Ray Charles, was blind but played the piano better than most people who can see!-"

"Alright we fucking get it!" Jace cut in, but Josh kept on going.

"My brother!" was the last person he said on his list, with a shaky voice. "My brother is out there... in Iraq... haven't heard from him in almost 5 months... two things..." his voice continued to shake. "either our mail got lost, or hasn't even gotten there... or he's dead... and the mail telling us _that;_ is either lost or hasn't gotten here yet." Everyone was quiet, just watching his face as it distorted from him trying to hold in his tears.  
"As much as I have respect for our soldiers" he began. "I do not believe in fighting a war... that is not your own! To me... to every country... their soldiers are just pawns being sent out into battle to die while the politicians just sit back and argue at a stand! And that... is for how many times I here you guys tell me that you can handle death better than mundanes can.. because you know _damn well_ that if you lost anyone that close to you... you would break down... just like a mundane would! Part hopes my brother never comes back... you know why? Because he will _never_ be the same!" Josh took his index finger pointed it at his head. "He'll be too fucked in the head to even know what's going on anymore! And _that_, my friends... is worst than death!"

"Finally someone who agrees with me, you guys are so fucking rude!" Simon spoke out pointing directly at Jace, who chose obviously to ignore him.

"You shouldn't talk, Fanger!" Josh spat his way. "If you were a true rock star, you'd be badass, not a weak little pussy! You're just as rude as they are!"

Everything became quiet for a while. Alec's face went from hard to soft. Magnus kept raising his hand to place on Josh's shoulder but kept on hesitating. Luke looked at him sadly, he understood him, and he knew he was right. Even in his old days as a Shadowhunter, Luke never discriminated against mundanes. After a few minutes Josh's face began to relax, he was able to keep the water flow from pouring on to his cheeks. He breathed in deeply, and suddenly his confidence was back in his face.

"I feel like…" he said before he trailed off and walked over to a shelf where he put that little knick-knack with all the weed inside of it.

"I feel like a bowl. What do you think?" he said as he picked it up.  
"What are you talking about?" asked Clary but her question was immediately answered when she saw what he pulled out of the little cup thing he held in his hands.  
"Oh." She said bluntly.

Josh looked like he was pondering something. "I don't know if I should put it in a bong, or roll it… what do you guys think?"

"I think that maybe you shouldn't do that in front my niece." Said Luke, with a hard look on his face. "I could care less about the rest of them, but not Clary."  
"Gee thanks." Said Simon. Luke ignored him.

"Well then take your asses out of _my_ apartment. Cause seeing as this is _my_ apartment, I am going to smoke a bowl whether you like it or not. And after all I've been through in the last few weeks, I think I deserve it!"

Leaving Luke in an annoyed stance, he put down the knick-knack and went off in search of either papers, or a bong, whichever he finds first...

* * *

OKay, whattya guys think? Should he smoke some weed?  
If you think so, what should he smoke it with, a bong, a pipe or just some rolled up papers? lol  
And finally... do you think the others should do it too?

I did warn you guys didn't I?


End file.
